Funerals & Unveilings
המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים
"May the Source of all send you comfort, along with
all the other mourners in Zion and Jerusalem..."
Jewish customs for death and mourning are both ancient and modern.
Some date back to Biblical times and others are over 2,000 years old, connecting generation to generation for centuries. Remarkably, these ancient practices perfectly mirror modern understanding of the stages of loss, grief, and recovery. (See "Funerals & Unveilings" in the FAQs for details.)
When a loved one dies...
contact a local Jewish funeral home to make arrangements. If you can't find one in your community, any funeral home will work with you. Should the deceased not own a burial plot, the funeral home can help you secure one. Ideally, Jews are buried in a Jewish cemetery or the Jewish section of a general cemetery.
Navigating a vulnerable time...
Some people make advanced final arrangements for their passing, setting out specific instructions and pre-paying funeral costs. Even still, grieving family members will need to make decisions. Jewish tradition calls for modesty in end-of-life matters, including burial. Traditionally, a plain wooden coffin is used, rather than a more elaborate casket; the person is dressed in simple linen garments (called takhrikhim), rather than finer clothing; and flowers are not traditional for Jewish funerals. Instead, Judaism encourages directing the resources flowers, nice clothing, or a more elaborate casket require to charity, in the name of the deceased.
Myths and misunderstandings...
Many Jews grow up hearing that having a tattoo or piercing, or being cremated, means they can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery. While Judaism discourages tattooing and body-piercing -- and strongly discourages cremation -- any Jew may (and should) be interred in a Jewish cemetery. (See "Funerals & Unveilings" in the FAQs for more details.)
Headstones and unveiling...
Erecting a marker on a burial site dates back to the time of the Torah. In the last century or two, the custom of "unveiling" developed. The headstone is put in place, covered with a cloth. Family and friends may gather for a brief dedication ceremony, during which the cover is removed. While it has become customary to place and unveil the headstone around the time of the first Yahrzeit (anniversary of the person's passing) there is no halakhah (Jewish religious law) associated with unveiling and it may be done at any time.
(Please see "Funerals and Unveilings" in the FAQs for more information.)
