Frequently Asked Questions

Weddings

Will you officiate at a same-sex wedding?
With pleasure! As a rabbi, one of the greatest joys is to join two adult Jews in marriage.

Will you officiate at an interfaith wedding?
Sorry, no – I understand my authority to perform a wedding as coming from Jewish law and tradition. If one of the partners isn’t Jewish, I don’t have the authority to marry them.

We’re both Jewish, but we want a civil ceremony. Can you officiate?
Technically, the law in most states allows me to perform a civil marriage. However, I understand my authority to perform a wedding as coming from Jewish law and tradition and so do not officiate at civil-only ceremonies. Of course, I can – and do! – sign the civil marriage license or other required document when performing a Jewish wedding.

Do you do pre-marital counseling?
I’m a certified facilitator for Prepare/Enrich, a research-based program that has guided over 4,000,000 couples. There is a specific Prepare/Enrich program for Jewish couples. You can learn more about Prepare/Enrich here.

What will you need from us for the ceremony?
- Complete and return the Wedding Information Form
- Select and obtain a Ketubah (Jewish wedding document) – options range from a plain fill-in-the-blank form I can provide, to one of many commercially-
produced styles, to having an artist create one just for you. I can guide you in the selection process and recommend sources. Please note that commercially-
produced Ketubot may take several weeks to prepare and custom-made Ketubot may require months to create.
- Chuppah (wedding canopy) – venues that have hosted Jewish weddings can likely provide this for you or refer you to a vendor. Florists may also have
experience creating them. The chuppah should have four sides and be supported by poles at the four corners, with sufficient space underneath for the
couple, the officiant, and a small table. The chuppah should be open on all four sides. The canopy itself should completely cover the top. Sometimes, a
portable chuppah is used, with people holding the four poles. (I have poles and a large tallit that can be used, by request.)
- Rings - plain metal or stone, with no gems or inserts and no engraving that goes all the way through; a continuous band.
(NOTE: couples who want to wear wedding rings that don’t meet these criteria can purchase inexpensive plain bands to use in the ceremony.)
- Bottle of (preferably Kosher) wine & (Kiddush) cup - any type of wine, except sparkling / carbonated; Kosher grape juice is also acceptable.
- Glass object – a well-known and defining tradition in Jewish weddings is stepping on and breaking a glass at the end of the ceremony. In past generations,
this was done by the groom only. Today, there are several egalitarian and inclusive variations, such as each partner breaking their own glass or the couple
stepping on a single glass together.
NOTE: For your safety:
§ The glass should be wrapped in a cloth napkin or inside a cloth bag available for this purpose.
§ Inexpensive glassware is usually thicker at stems or bases, making it harder to break and creating larger shards and sharp edges.
A thinner, higher quality champagne flute is a better choice. Step on the body of the flute, away from the stem.
§ A safe alternative is an incandescent light bulb. The glass is thin, shatters easily, and doesn’t produce dangerous shards.
- Small table (fits under the Chuppah) to hold the wine, cup, glass object, and Ketubah

How long is the ceremony? What happens? Is it all in Hebrew?
The beauty of the traditional Jewish wedding is its simplicity. The basic ceremony is 20-30 minutes (not counting processions or other additions). The required elements are chanted in Hebrew, followed by English translation, and include:
- Traditional words of welcome
- Betrothal blessing
- Exchange of rings
- Reading of Ketubah (Jewish wedding document)
- Nuptial blessings (“Seven Blessings”)
- Traditional closing blessing
- Breaking of a glass
I usually also offer some words from the tradition, specific to the occasion.

Can we create our own wedding ceremony?
In addition to the required ceremony, couples are welcome to add meaningful elements, which are consistent with a Jewish wedding. These might include:
- Personal vows or other message to one another
- A song or reading by the partner(s), friend, or family member
- The lighting of a “memory candle” to honor family members who have passed on
- Inviting friends or family members to recite one of the seven nuptial blessings, in Hebrew and/or English
We can discuss any other ideas you may have. Please note that additional elements will make the ceremony longer.

What do I need to know about the wedding party? Processional and recessional? Music?
The number of attendants in the wedding party, their clothing, and the processional and recessional are entirely up to the couple. My focus is on the ceremony itself, so I don’t walk in the wedding procession. NOTE: I do ask to vet any music selected (live or recorded) that will be used before, during, or immediately after the ceremony (although NOT music for the reception). There are many popular pieces, including well-known classical selections, that are not appropriate for a Jewish wedding. (For example, the theme known as “Here Comes the Bride” is from the German opera, Lohengrin, by Richard Wagner, a story set in the struggle between paganism and early Christianity.)

I/We have been previously divorced – what do I/we need to know?
If a previous marriage was to a Jewish partner, a Get (Jewish divorce document) is required before remarriage. This is true regardless of gender. (If a previous spouse was not Jewish, a Get is not required.) Fortunately, Jewish religious divorce is much simpler, far less stressful, and inexpensive, compared to civil divorce. I can facilitate the process for you. Click HERE for details.

Do you do destination weddings?
Happily! Costs for my transportation, accommodation, and meals are the responsibility of the couple. Please note that the destination and date of the wedding may require an additional day’s stay before or after the ceremony.

I see you’re in Orlando – can I have my wedding at Disney World?
Definitely! I’m happy to officiate at any Disney venue! Walt Disney World Resort offers a wide range of venues, packages, and prices. See the Disney Weddings and Honeymoons website (https://www.disneyweddings.com/) for details.

Are there days when Jewish weddings aren’t held?
Because of the principle of not “mixing joy with joy”, Jewish weddings are not held on:
- Shabbat (from before sundown on Friday until after full darkness on Saturday)
- Major Jewish holidays:
· both days of Rosh Hashanah
· Yom Kippur
· the week of Sukkot
· Sh’mini Atzeret and Simchat Torah
· the week of Passover
· both days of Shavu’ot
- Likewise, Jewish weddings are not held on the Tish’a B’Av, a 24-hour period of fasting and mourning, or on other Jewish fast days.
- There is a tradition of not holding a Jewish wedding during S’firat Ha-Omer (Counting of the Omer), the seven weeks between Passover and Shavu’ot,
(with the exception of the 33rd day). However, I follow the custom of resuming weddings as of the start of the Jewish month of Iyyar (8 days after
Passover ends).
- A Jewish wedding may be held on minor Jewish holidays, such as Hanukkah or Purim, or on Rosh Chodesh (New Moon / start of a Jewish month)
- There is no objection to holding a Jewish wedding on a secular holiday (including January 1 and December 25).