Frequently Asked Questions

Get
(Jewish Religious Divorce)

I have a civil divorce decree -- do I need a Jewish religious divorce?
Yes. A marriage established under civil law must be dissolved under civil law. Likewise, a marriage established under halakhah (Jewish religious law) must be dissolved under halakhah. Even if you didn't have a Jewish wedding, halakhah considers your civil marriage as valid and a Get is required for either party to remarry another Jew.

My former spouse isn't Jewish. Do I need a Get?
No -- only the dissolution of marriage between two Jews requires a Get.

How do I/we obtain a Jewish religious divorce?
It's all based on the very specific (and, unfortunately, very patriarchal) language of Deuteronomy 24:1, which says that "a man...writes [a woman] a bill of divorcement, hands it to her, and sends her from his household." The basic steps are:
- A form, signed before two witnesses, requesting to have the Get written. (When the marriage was between a man and a woman, the man must make the
request.)
- The signed form is sent to a qualified scribe, who writes the Get before witnesses, on behalf of the requesting party
- When the Get is written, a Beit Din (Rabbinic court of 3 individuals) is convened for the delivery of the Get.
- The Get is delivered to the spouse by the Beit Din. (When the marriage is between a man and a woman, the delivery is made to the woman.)
I can facilitate all these steps for you. Once delivered, the Get is sent to the Joint Beit Din of the Rabbinical Assembly and the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism for permanent safekeeping. Both former spouses are issued a document called a p'tur ("permitted"), as proof that the process of Jewish divorce was properly completed.

What if my former spouse won't cooperate or I don't know how to locate my former spouse?
For many centuries, a woman whose husband either would not give her a Get or could not be located (but was not known to have died) left her in a state of matrimonial limbo. Without a Get, she was technically still married under Jewish religious law and could not remarry. My denomination, Conservative Judaism, addressed this problem decades ago, through traditional sources. In the event that a man refuses to cooperate, haf'ka'at kiddushin (literally, "uprooting of a marriage"; i.e., annulment) is the usual remedy. In the case of a woman who refuses to receive a Get from her husband, the Beit Din (Rabbinic court of 3 individuals) may accept it on her behalf.

What about the dissolution of same-sex marriages?
In 2021, the Rabbinical Assembly, my professional rabbinic organization, approved documents and rituals for marriage and divorce of same-sex couples.

Do I need an attorney?
Since Get is not a matter of civil law or for the civil courts, legal representation is not required.

Will I need to be in the room with my former spouse?
No. Both the signing of the request for the Get to be written and the delivery of the Get occur without the former spouse present.

How long does it take to obtain a Get? Is it expensive?
Once the request form is completed, signed and witnessed, and sent to the scribe, the Get is usually available for delivery within a few weeks. It's then a matter of organizing a Beit Din (Rabbinic court of 3 individuals) and coordinating schedules for the delivery.
Since there are no attorneys' fees or court costs, obtaining a Jewish religious divorce is comparatively inexpensive. The current estimated total cost is between $750 and $950, and includes the scribe's materials and time, permanent storage by Joint Beit Din, and professional fees.