Frequently Asked Questions

Funerals & Unveilings

What do I need to know about a Jewish funeral?
- Tradition calls for burial as soon after a person passes as possible. The human body is considered sacred, even after death, so no embalming or other
alteration or preservation is done.
- Funeral and burial arrangements should be modest, reminding us of our own fragility and mortality. Preparation for a traditional Jewish burial includes:
- Securing a burial plot in a Jewish cemetery (or the Jewish section of a larger cemetery)
- A simple wooden casket
- Tahk'rikhim - plain linen garments (rather than suits, dresses, or other standard clothing)
- Taharah - preparation, washing, and dressing of the deceased; this is usually performed by a Chevra Kadisha ("Sacred Society")
- Many communities have Jewish funeral homes, which can facilitate all of the arrangements. However, most all funeral homes are familiar with Jewish
funeral and burial traditions.
- Flowers are not part of Jewish funeral tradition. Contributions to appropriate charities, especially those meaningful to or supported by the deceased,
are customary instead.

What about eulogies?
Hesped (eulogy) is customary at a Jewish funeral. My practice is is defer to the family, if there is someone who would like to speak and feels able to do so. Otherwise, I can gather thoughts from family members and craft a eulogy. Sometimes, a family member would like to compose a eulogy, but is concerned they'll be too emotional to speak. In that case, I'm honored to read it on their behalf.

Do we need pallbearers?
Families may opt for a graveside service, which usually does not require pallbearers. Some Jewish cemeteries have a chapel or pavilion on site, where guests can be seated. In that case, pallbearers accompany the casket from there to the grave site. Occasionally, a funeral service may be held at a synagogue, funeral home chapel, or other location, after which the casket is driven to the cemetery for interment. Pallbearers might be used to move the casket from the building to the hearse and again from the hearse to the grave site.

What about military rites?
Military rites (a flag on the coffin, flag folding and presentation by military personnel, and the sounding of "Taps") are not only permitted, they are encouraged for those who have served. They are done prior to the beginning of the funeral service.

Is it true that a person can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery if they have tattoos or piercings?
No, that's not true. Although the Torah prohibits tattooing, having them does not prevent burial in a Jewish cemetery. On the contrary, it is preferable for a Jew to be buried in a Jewish cemetery, in any event.

What about cremation?
The human body is considered sacred, even after death, and the principle of kavod ha-meit ("respect for the dead") proscribes any alteration, damage, or destruction. Cremation is therefore strongly discouraged, especially in light of the millions of Jews who were consigned to the flames of crematoria during the Holocaust. However, if a Jew is cremated, the ashes should be interred in a Jewish cemetery. The traditional funeral service is not done, since this requires the presence of the body, but it is appropriate -- and encouraged -- to hold a memorial service prior to (or after) interment of the ashes.

Are autopsies allowed?
In general, an autopsy would be considered nivul ha-meit (desecration of the body). However, in cases where civil law requires it (e.g., suspicion of foul play or an unattended death), we follow civil law. If an autopsy will provide insight or information that can help prevent, cure, or treat disease, it is certainly permitted.

What about organ donation?
Organ donation saves lives and enhances the quality and length of lives. As such, not only is it permitted, it may be considered a religious obligation.

What is an unveiling? When is it done?
"Unveiling" is a ritual for dedication of a headstone or similar grave marker. While the practice of placing a marker on a grave at some later time after burial dates back to Biblical sources, the irtual of unveiling as we know it can only be traced back a century or two. The name comes from the custom of keeping the newly-erected stone covered while some prayers and Psalms are recited to dedicate it. The cover is then removed, "unveiling" the stone, and some additional prayers may be recited.
A prevailing custom is the do the unveiling on or about the first Yahrzeit (anniversary of the person's passing). However, there is no established rule of Jewish law on this point, and the timing of an unveiling is flexible.